Saturday, March 3, 2012

another one done, another handful of lessons learned

i know, it's been ages, it's been too long, it's inexcusable, but i'm back and ready to help y'all survive, the days leading up to that day, the days that linger, the day you've been waiting for for what seems like for forever, and life after he's finally home again.

update on us so you know where i'm coming from now:
october 2010 hubby deployed for the fourth time, our third time together, second time for our preschooler, and i was 16 weeks preggers!
usual deployment routine for our lil man and myself: lots of traveling for the holidays
march 2011 hubby comes home for r&r half-way through the deployment. three days later our other lil guy was welcomed in to the world
april 7 2011 we woke up next to each other for our fourth anniversary, but he would be gone before i laid my head down that night
september 2011 our lil guy's 6 month birthday and daddy made it home finally!

okay, and since that deployment, life has been amazing! i honestly was terrified that reintegration would be aw-ful, stressful, just.no.good.for.any.one, but it's been the complete opposite. it's only taken us three deployments to figure out the whole reintegration thing and how to keep it realistic and open to changes, i think we've got it finally figured out, for us.

so, the lessons learned:
preschoolers are smart. they can count, they can sense your emotions and fears and joys and are very keen on wanting to make everything better... so i was pregnant through this last deployment, with morning sickness every.single.day.all.day.long so long we were way up above sea level out west. so everyday our preschooler would rub my back as i upchucked and every evening he would remind me that 'daddy is a good soldier and that's why they need him at the other office. and when he's done with the bad guys, he'll be home.' {{wub}}

get yourself a cheerleader. yes, my hubby has always been one of my biggest fans, but as i juggled everything back home and cheering him on each day, i found myself burnt out. and well, i loved my battle buddies, but we were all in the same slow-moving, sometime sinking boat with kids, life and a household to run. so, i found myself someone who was strictly my cheerleader. grant it, "she" was my mum, but this deployment her main role was cheering me on and boy did she.

be realistic. last deployment i was super care package diva who was super busy, every.single.day. this time around, i'll admit, there were days that our lil man and i spent the day in our pjs eating nothing but junk food and watching nick, jr. and well, it felt good. knowing my limits this go around, i knew my pregnant body needed 'pj days,' and when it was just the two boys and myself, i knew it was ultra important that i was honest with myself with post-partrum depression set in. and when i admitted to myself that i was only human and that i looked ridiculous running around with a cape on, i was able to take better care of myself. yes, we had monthly goals and yes we kept busy, but i was also realistic with how much we could and really needed to do to 'survive.'

enjoy the little moments. there was nothing like the sunday afternoon when hubby was holding our few day old lil guy and just sitting, still, together. there was that moment when hubby took my hand as we walked out of the reintegration brief and i knew he was home. there's nothing like hearing our lil guy saying 'dadda dadda' when hubby gets home at the end of the bad, irregardless of how crazy our day was. it's those little moments that have made reintegration so much more bearable and manageable this go around.

so, we're caught up and now i have long list of resources, advice, tips and photos to share. so stay tune and don't forget to follow and survive on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Surviving-My-Deployment/114516995236337
from dropping off bags

to hanging the welcome home sign

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