through it all, don't lose yourself

it's hard sometimes not to get completely wrapped up in your soldier's world, to paint your entry way in his unit colors, to adorn the rear of your car with yellow ribbon magnets and bumper stickers, to wear his pt shirt every waking moment when he's gone, but is that really who YOU are? though you want to be supportive, find a balance between being that support, his #1 cheerleader and still be yourself.

i don't think you would be able to tell just from looking at me that i'm a military wife. well, except when i was at the uniform center recently and i had no clue what patches hubby needed! i don't think my identify has been lost at all, but we are not your typical military family. greg is the only person in my extended family who has been in the service by choice (i have an uncle who went to vietnam). i think it should become a part of who you are, but it should not completely change you.
catherine
navy
2 deployments

you would never know dave was deployed by looking at me. i've never immersed myself in military culture by plastering my car with '1/2 my heart is in iraq' stickers, wearing pts tot he grocery store or displaying service stars in my living room windows. i do have two battalion or squadron t-shirts that i wear to work out in and i have a necklace with a stryker on it, but no overt every day symbols. i want people to look at me and want to get to know me for me, not for being a military wife. i'm not looking for sympathy from passer-byers and can wear my pride on my face rather than on my car, purse, or clothing. survival in the face of adversity is the best representation of a military wife (not always pretty, but making it when the going gets tough). plus, i'd rather the crazies at wal-mart not know that i'm living alone in my house with a small child and two weenie dogs for protection.

i think it depends on where you are in your life as to how bulldozed you feel by your husband's career. had you asked me this two years ago when i had to leave a dream job in washington to move to podunk, kentucky, i would have told you i was resentful of his career. today, i'm thankful for the luxury it affords me - staying home with our baby, going to school for free, etc. either way, you have to develop your own identify so that you don't become lost in the shuffle of constant pcs moves, new jobs and new friends. sometimes it takes being lost for a while to realize the necessity of being your own person - someone supportive of, but separate from, his career.
aspen
army
2 deployments

i don't think that being in the military changes you all that much. if anything, it brings out the patriotism that is inside you. if someone were to look at me, they may not know we are military. but when my hubby is gone, i do like to were a pin in honor of him. now if they were to come to my house, yes, they would know that we are a military family. we are very proud of what each and every one of the military members are doing or have done in our family. i would love to decorate in support of my husband when he is gone, but that just makes us a target. we do have the bumper stickers to symbolize that we are military. our lives change and will never be the same when we join the military, but t doesn't change who you are. we are not exempt from the evil in the civilian world. that is where i thought wrong, i thought it was going to be great, no crime, no drama, nothing like in the civilian world. i was wrong. here are our current duty station the crime rate is high. drugs, alcohol, attempted child abductions are all of what we deal with here and many other military bases.
amanda
army
2 deployments