you, baby and deployment

you peed on a stick and it was pink, positive, pregnant! oh, and then your partner in causing this reaction just received deployment orders. now what? how will you and the bun you bake endure this? how will your other half be able to stay part of this beautiful journey?


i have had 2 of my 3 children without my soldier home. he was deployed when our youngest daughter was born and he was at basic training when our second daughter was born. i have to say, it was very hard time. when i was pregnant with our second daughter it wasn't as difficult though as our youngest. i knew was just a few hours away at basic, safe, not in a warzone. there weren't any terrorists trying to kill him. he came home two weeks after our second daughter was born. i was blessed to have my mom and sister to help me with our oldest daughter while my hubsand was still at basic and our new daughter came home.

with our youngest daughter it was a very different situation. the deployment came up on us suddenly and i was already 5 months pregnant. it was our first deployment. we had no clue what to expect and were 22 hours away from our family. again, i knew i was going to have to do this alone. i felt so lonely. he wasn't there to rub my back, feel the baby kick, or hear her heartbeat. i kind of had to put on my big girl panties and realize that this baby was coming whether my hubby was in afghanstain or not. i was scheduled to be induced in the early morning and i prayed my husband wouldn't call. i know that sounds horribe. you're thinking what wife doesn't want to hear his voice, but i knew if he called i would be so emotional (thanks pregnancy hormones!).

i didn't think i would be strong enough to have our daughter without our family or without my husband. well, being the wonderful, caring man he is, he did call just to let me know he was thinking of us and he loved us. well, our youngest daughter didn't come! the induction didn't work. i went home and went into labor a week later! God had a it all planned out. with in that week my husband's unit got the word they were coming home early! my husband missed our youngest daughter's birth by just a few days. and my family made it to ft. polk to help me thorugh the labor.

it turned out well in the end. i kept my husband involved by tell him when my appointments were. any paperwork i received, i copied and mailed them to him. i sent him ultrasound pictures through email and through the mail so he could hold them. i told him about almost everything, everything but the pains and discomfort of being pregnant. i didn't want him to take his mind of the mission.
amanda
army
2 deployments

the same week that we got married, not on our orginial wedding date thanks to hubby being on deployment alert, we found out we were going to be parents. we were thrilled. now, had hubby deployed when he had been put on alert, he could have taken his r&r around the time of our son's birth. however, orders changed and thankfully my hubby was home for the full pregnancy, but deployed 5 weeks after our son was born.

i had an easy pregnancy. two mornings of morning sickness. didn't find out i was pregnant until the 12th week. and i was fortunate that hubby was able to go to every appointment except one. however, as we counted down to the arrival of our son, i knew we were counting down to my hubby's deployment. it made the pregnancy even more hormonal and emotional.

to keep hubby involved in our lil man's life as he grew each day and did something new each day, we used the webcam to have playdates. i also took tons of pictures and mailed at least 10 a week to hubby. also, as our son got older, my hubby was gone for 14 months, we would do little projects to mail to my hubby, every week. our lil man started understanding during the last few months that he was missing his daddy being able to play with him. but, as difficult as it was watching my hubby watch our son group up on the webcam and in pictures and home movies, the day he came home, we had dinner and picked up where he left off, with bath duty!
jackie
army
2 deployments

keeping daddy connected ideas:
*if you can, bring along your camera or video camera to each appointment so you can record or take pictures. also, as amanda did, make copies of all the papers they give you and send them to daddy.
*if you can keep the gender to yourself (if you're finding out), a fun way to share with daddy is to to a 'gender' care package. fill the box with all things in the particular color (can be baby things and things for daddy).
*make a scrapbook of the pregnancy (great for daddy and to look back at) and send it page by page to daddy.
*when the day comes, if daddy can't be there, find an OpLove Reunited photographer (www.oplove.org) who would be willing to take pictures of the big arrival. if your hospital will allow it, consider the webcam (some commanders will allow your soldier time off to watch, some) or maybe the video camera.
*pictures! pictures! pictures! lots of pictures as you grow through the pregnancy and as baby grows. my friend did a great thing and is still doing it. she is taking a picture a day of her daughter as she grows, everyday.
*start a blog to journal about your pregnancy and as baby grows. we did one for our son and still have it, nearly 2.5 yrs later.