got a yard that needs mowing?

project evergreen works to connect local lawn service providers with deployed families. so, if your yard looks like it could use a trim, check out the link and see if there is a participating provider in your area: projectevergreen.com/gcft/

tutor.com

have a kid who may need some fine-tuning in the academics this summer? ever get stuck helping your kid do homework because your deployed hero is better in that subject? have no fear, www.tutor.com is here to help, 24-7, just for service members.

the first tee: free golf lessons and life skills

do you have a budding golfer on your hand? if so, the first tee wants to give your golfer some free lessons and improve their swing and help with life lessons. simply visit their website and find a participating golf course and let your golfer take a swing!

www.thefirsttee.org/club/scripts/section/section.asp?grp=O&NS=DD

operation purple family retreats

i posted previously about operation purple camps for kids ages 7 - 17 yrs old to help them cope with the stresses of the deployment. well, those camps have started and registration is closed for this summer. but could your family use a retreat to help you all cope with this deployment? check out www.militaryfamily.org/our-programs/operation-purple/family-retreats/how-do-i-apply.html for find a retreat near you.

operation military kids

operation military kids is the u.s. army's cooperative with various community agencies like 4-h and the boys and girls club of america and the american legion to help kids cope with the military but especially deployments.

each summer they offer a handful of camps (www.operationmilitarykids.org/public/EventDetail.aspx?ID=1929) in conjunction with the local agencies. in addition to these summer camps, they also offer 'hero packs' and a special brief on deployment for national guard and reserve kids.

to find out more, visit them at www.operationmilitarykids.org

free museum entrance this summer

want to get out of the house and stroll through your local art museum? want to take the kids on a day trip to the children's museums? you can do it all for free this summer!

from memorial day until labor day, the blue star families, the national art endowment, and over 750 museums across the nation are offering free admission to military members and their families. simply find a museum (www.arts.gov/national/bluestarmuseums/index.php) and present your id card and enjoy!

a great resource and conference just for women

so i know it's been a while since i posted any goodies for y'all, but that's because i've been sneakily posting on facebook. check us out at: www.tinyurl.com/facebooksurviving!

okay, here's my new gem for y'all: wings for women military spouses conference

check them out at: www.wings4women.wordpress.com or on facebook.

i spent the evening laughing, crying and left refreshed. not only was my mind at ease for a few hours, but my spirit seems renewed and my soul seems to be approaching refilled. what's great about this group is that these ladies started out as simply meeting at the coffee shop and having fellowship and encouraging each other through their spiritual journey and this journey we call our military life. from there it grew to a blog and now a yearly conference. with worship music, a few snacks, some door prizes and keynote speakers, a room full of strangers, some who travel seven states over, quickly has transformed into a sisterhood and group of ladies who for the weekend have come to fill their spiritual tanks and put on more armour to fight their own battles.

and if you can't make it to the conferences, oh there are more about various topics, there is always the blog and facebook.

you are appreciated!

in 1984, president ronald reagan realized that military spouses were a vital part to making our military as strong and successful as it is. so, he set aside the friday before mother's day as military spouses appreciation day. to honor you, the military spouse who waits, no matter the distance or how long, who fights your own battles on the homefront between sleepless nights and tears, who never gives up, no matter how hopeless or stressful the situation may seem.

your day is filled with honors and events across the nation. check with your post's community service center or family readiness center for special events in your honor. check out this link for information on various discounts and freebies, just because you are appreciated! www.militaryavenue.com/articles/military+spouse+appreciation+day+21+-+events+discounts+and+give-aways-33557.aspx


and thank you for supporting our troops, our families and the mission!

resources for kids of all ages

so i've gotten a couple emails recently about a bunch of different resources for kids of all ages (and all branches) dealing with preparing, dealing with, and life after the deployment. hope these help!

operation purple: www.militaryfamily.org/our-programs/operation-purple
operation purple is a summer camp program for military children, from 7 years old to 17 years old. with locations all across the usa, what better way for your kiddo to get away, make some new friends and be reminded they're not alone in this adventurous life. applications are due by april 16th, but if you miss the deadline this year, you can always send your kiddo next year.

ourmilitarykids.com: www.ourmilitarykids.com
ourmilitarykids.com is a website that lists various programs supported by the group of donors, specifically for national guard and all military reserve families.

vt research magazine article to help you understand your teen and deployment: www.research.vt.edu/resmag/researchmagjan06/deploy.html
the article in the virginia tech research magazine may shed a little more light are what you'll be facing when your soldier deploys leaving you and your teen behind. heads up, they've lowered the age of 'teens' to start as early 10 years old for some kids.

united through reading: www.unitedthroughreading.org
i have a new favorite resource! united through reading is sponsored by the uso. your soldier can go in to your post's uso before he deploys and pick out a book, be recorded reading it on a dvd, and then when he deploys, your little one will get mail, with the book and the dvd so they can have their very own 'daddy story.' what's great, many airports have a uso equipped to provide this service and so do several of the uso's in the middle east, just in case he doesn't get a chance to make a dvd before he deploys. and it's not just for your littlest ones, they have books even for your tween and teen.

what military teens want you to know toolkit: www.militaryfamily.org/assets/pdf/what-military-teens-want-you-to-know-toolkit.pdf
not sure what your teen is thinking or feeling about your soldier, their job and their deployment? the what military teens want you to know toolkit gives you ten things to make you think about what your teen's facing and how they might be feeling about not just the deployment, but your soldier's military career and military life as a whole.

there are tons more that i'm hunting down and going to share with y'all soon!

resources just for your elementary school aged lil one

alrightie, i did some more research and reading and digging through various booklists, and i'm convinced my local library is secretly sneaking me extra books (which is fine with me because it helps me help you help me), here is a list of great resources for your elementary school-aged child.

books:
*the kissing hand by audrey penn (great for deployments, but also the first day of school)

*a yellow ribbon for daddy by anissa mersiowkly (great way to explain 'why')

*when duty calls (uncle sam's kids) by angela sportelli rehak (about a marine family, but still good)

*while you are away by eileen spinelle

*daddy, will you miss me? by wendy mc cormick (about a dad's trip to africa, but still helps understand the seperation)

*the magic box by marty sederman (about a parent who goes on business trips, but a great idea to apply to deployments)

*a year without dad by jodi brunson (about a reservist family; good for older elementary school-aged children)

*red, white, and blue good-bye by sarah wones tomp (a navy family's story)
my mommy wears combat boots by sharon mc bride (great for single-parent families)

*a pocket full of kisses by audrey penn (great for new siblings)

*gone! by trevor romain (i haven't read this yet, ordering it from armyonesource.com)

*good things by trevor romain (i haven't read this yet, ordering it from armyonesource.com,
seems to be themed toward younger children)

*sesame street's talk, listen, connect: deployments, homecomings and changes dvd series (great for this age group)

for you:
*the five love languages of children by gary chapman

resources just for your little one

believe it or not, but your 18 month old knows that something is amidst. your 2.5 year old knows that something isn't right. your 3 year old knows it's not normal for mommy to cry or be tired all the time. and know that you're not alone. there's a whole army of mommies out there who are facing deployment with toddlers and not fully armed for the fight ahead always. but fear not, here's a few things (and more to come) to help you and your little one hero:

before your soldier deploys:

*bedtime stories. we loved watching 'dadda' read a bedtime story each and ever night. have your soldier sit down before they deploy and record some bedtime stories (this can be done via a webcam straight to your computer or via a video camera). and you'll love the little messages he might leave just for you! also consider sending a few books with your soldier and getting another copy for at home. this will allow your soldier to read the story in real time to your lil one (and helps with reading skills for your little on).


*build-a-bear. i myself have a bear (or other animal) from each deployment we've done together so far. so does our lil man. what makes them extra special besides the fact that our soldier made them for us, each has their own special recorder with a special message, just for us. don't have a build-a-bear workshop near you? you can make one online and call in your special message. http://www.buildabear.com/ in fact, we did that when we made one to send to our soldier while he was deployed. or you can always make a 'huggy bear.' myhuggy.com

*take lots of pictures. and hang them up. and make a book. in our lil man's room i have a wall gallery of pictures of him and his daddy. i have one picture of just my hubby at our son's level that he kisses good morning and good night every.single.day he's gone from us. also, by having that picture at his level, he can go talk to him when he needs to. by having this wall up before hand, you are getting your little one use to the idea. also, consider making a book of all those pictures (there are make board books out there, check your acs or airmen community resource, or militaryonesource.com for books these books. list below). you can go to shutterfly or kodak or walgreens and make your own book or simply use any of the books listed below and paste in your pictures (you may want to make a few copies, one for the car, one for the daycare bag, one for the bed, and so on).

*make a daddy (or mommy) doll. hugahero.com make a 'daddy doll (or mommy)' for your little one to take along every.where! and you can make one for yourself too.

*make a flat daddy and hang him on the wall or take him every.where. flatdaddies.com

now that your soldier's deployed:

*get a routine! keep busy! don't eat dinner alone! trust me, a routine will not only help you keep your sanity, but will also help your little one have something to look forward to each day. check with your local library for their storytimes. check with your local parks and rec and see if they have nature programs. if you're on post or near a post, find out when they have their toddler play dates (or any other programs they may have just for those facing a deployment. our cys has a playdate just for toddlers facing deployment), find out if your chick-fil-a has playdate with the cow (and if they don't, suggest they start), find a playground. find something to do each day, even if it's just grocery shopping. and don't eat dinner alone! find someone else whose soldier is deployed and do dinner swaps. trade off making dinner and sharing the company. i know i hate leftovers and not having another adult to talk to.

*have a 'daddy (or mommy) day.' once a week (because that's how often we send care packages), we have a day that we do a special project that we'll send to hubby. sometimes it's an art project, sometimes a picture project, sometimes it's doing something for someone else (think putting flags out with the vets on memorial day).

*take advantage of the free daycare. yes, your child development center on your post offers FREE hours each month that your soldier is deployed. i know the army offers 16 hours each month. take advantage of them! your little one needs to interact with other kids without you. yes, more then likely they will spend the first few times crying, but when you come back time and time again, they will understand that you are coming back. and just like you came back, explain that daddy (or mommy) will come back too. plus, you need to take a shower alone. you need to have some time to yourself to take a break.

*make a countdown. whether you add a paper link to the chain for each day your soldier has been gone. or you put a little yellow ribbon on your tree for each day. or you make a chain link ahead of time and take a link off each day. or get a bowl and fill it with daddy's favorite candy and eat one each day until they are all gone until they come home (you might have to refill the bowl a few times).

*visit your military family life counselor. they're confidential. they're free. they're trained. and if they can't help you and your little one cope, they can refer you. don't live near a post, call militaryonesource.com and they will find you a local resource.

*make a 'when daddy's gone' book. take pictures of your hero home and where he works when he's home. take pictures of him packing his gear and him leaving. then have him take pictures of his trip to where he's going, where he's working, where he lives. then put these pictures in a storybook (you can use shutterfly, kodak, walgreens.com, or just make your own) and help your child understand that when daddy is home, these pictures are of his office here. when daddy is gone, this is where he works.

books to help you and your little one:

*the new books from hallmark that you can record the story yourself

*night catch by brenda ehrmantruat

*a paper hug by stephanie skolmoski

*my dad's a hero by rebecca christiansen

*while you are away by eileen spinelli (navy specific)

*dad's in iraq and i want him back by carmen r. hoyt (available through most acs)

*daddy is a soldier by kirsten hallowell

*a yellow ribbon for daddy by anissa mersiowsky

*the invisible string by patrice karst

*my mommy wears combat boots by sharon mcbride

*the magic box by marty sederman

*we're all together again from sesame street (available on militaryonesource.com)

*we serve too and we serve too 2 (the reunion book) by eliane dumler (available on weservetoo.com)

*the kissing hand by audrey penn

*uncle sam's kids: when duty calls (navy specific) by angela sportelli

for you:

*when duty calls by carol vandesteeg

*the homefront club by jacey eckhart (available on militaryonesource.com)

*i'm already home & i'm already home... again by elaine gray dumler

*parenting in the 21st century (cd) by edward m. hallowell (available on militaryonesource.com)
*double duty (cd for dads who deploy) from militaryonesource.com

*surviving deployment by karen pavlicin

*chicken soup for the military wife's soul by jack canfield

*faith deployed by jocelyn green (you can follow the daily blog at jocelyngreen.wordpress.com)

*separated by duty, united by love by shellie vandevoode

i have not personally read all of these books, but as i do, i will either leave or delete them from the list as the reflect the appropriateness to our toddlers and coping. many of these books can be found at your on post library or your local library.

ready for homecoming?

so the long months are over with and it's time to finally welcome your hero home! are you ready? one of the trademarks of homecoming is always the homecoming signs. here are some of our favorites:

you, baby and deployment

you peed on a stick and it was pink, positive, pregnant! oh, and then your partner in causing this reaction just received deployment orders. now what? how will you and the bun you bake endure this? how will your other half be able to stay part of this beautiful journey?


i have had 2 of my 3 children without my soldier home. he was deployed when our youngest daughter was born and he was at basic training when our second daughter was born. i have to say, it was very hard time. when i was pregnant with our second daughter it wasn't as difficult though as our youngest. i knew was just a few hours away at basic, safe, not in a warzone. there weren't any terrorists trying to kill him. he came home two weeks after our second daughter was born. i was blessed to have my mom and sister to help me with our oldest daughter while my hubsand was still at basic and our new daughter came home.

with our youngest daughter it was a very different situation. the deployment came up on us suddenly and i was already 5 months pregnant. it was our first deployment. we had no clue what to expect and were 22 hours away from our family. again, i knew i was going to have to do this alone. i felt so lonely. he wasn't there to rub my back, feel the baby kick, or hear her heartbeat. i kind of had to put on my big girl panties and realize that this baby was coming whether my hubby was in afghanstain or not. i was scheduled to be induced in the early morning and i prayed my husband wouldn't call. i know that sounds horribe. you're thinking what wife doesn't want to hear his voice, but i knew if he called i would be so emotional (thanks pregnancy hormones!).

i didn't think i would be strong enough to have our daughter without our family or without my husband. well, being the wonderful, caring man he is, he did call just to let me know he was thinking of us and he loved us. well, our youngest daughter didn't come! the induction didn't work. i went home and went into labor a week later! God had a it all planned out. with in that week my husband's unit got the word they were coming home early! my husband missed our youngest daughter's birth by just a few days. and my family made it to ft. polk to help me thorugh the labor.

it turned out well in the end. i kept my husband involved by tell him when my appointments were. any paperwork i received, i copied and mailed them to him. i sent him ultrasound pictures through email and through the mail so he could hold them. i told him about almost everything, everything but the pains and discomfort of being pregnant. i didn't want him to take his mind of the mission.
amanda
army
2 deployments

the same week that we got married, not on our orginial wedding date thanks to hubby being on deployment alert, we found out we were going to be parents. we were thrilled. now, had hubby deployed when he had been put on alert, he could have taken his r&r around the time of our son's birth. however, orders changed and thankfully my hubby was home for the full pregnancy, but deployed 5 weeks after our son was born.

i had an easy pregnancy. two mornings of morning sickness. didn't find out i was pregnant until the 12th week. and i was fortunate that hubby was able to go to every appointment except one. however, as we counted down to the arrival of our son, i knew we were counting down to my hubby's deployment. it made the pregnancy even more hormonal and emotional.

to keep hubby involved in our lil man's life as he grew each day and did something new each day, we used the webcam to have playdates. i also took tons of pictures and mailed at least 10 a week to hubby. also, as our son got older, my hubby was gone for 14 months, we would do little projects to mail to my hubby, every week. our lil man started understanding during the last few months that he was missing his daddy being able to play with him. but, as difficult as it was watching my hubby watch our son group up on the webcam and in pictures and home movies, the day he came home, we had dinner and picked up where he left off, with bath duty!
jackie
army
2 deployments

keeping daddy connected ideas:
*if you can, bring along your camera or video camera to each appointment so you can record or take pictures. also, as amanda did, make copies of all the papers they give you and send them to daddy.
*if you can keep the gender to yourself (if you're finding out), a fun way to share with daddy is to to a 'gender' care package. fill the box with all things in the particular color (can be baby things and things for daddy).
*make a scrapbook of the pregnancy (great for daddy and to look back at) and send it page by page to daddy.
*when the day comes, if daddy can't be there, find an OpLove Reunited photographer (www.oplove.org) who would be willing to take pictures of the big arrival. if your hospital will allow it, consider the webcam (some commanders will allow your soldier time off to watch, some) or maybe the video camera.
*pictures! pictures! pictures! lots of pictures as you grow through the pregnancy and as baby grows. my friend did a great thing and is still doing it. she is taking a picture a day of her daughter as she grows, everyday.
*start a blog to journal about your pregnancy and as baby grows. we did one for our son and still have it, nearly 2.5 yrs later.